On Friday, I shared why I don't set New Year's resolutions and what I do instead.

The short version: I set an annual theme. One word or phrase that becomes a filter for every decision I make that year.

But I didn't tell you how I actually find the theme. And that's the part that matters.

Because your theme shouldn't be something you borrow from Instagram or pick because it sounds inspiring. It should emerge from honest reflection about where you are and who you're becoming.

Today, I'm sharing the exact process I use, including the questions that surface the real answers.

Before we dive in, I want to be clear about something.

This process isn't about finding your flaws and correcting them. It's not about shame or self-judgment or making a list of everything you did wrong this year.

It's about seeing what's true, with compassion, so you can evolve into the next version of yourself.

Your theme isn't a corrective. It's an amplifier.

It's about finding what's working, what's aligned, what brings you joy—and creating more space for that. And it's about noticing what's ready to evolve. Not because it's broken, but because it's hit a ceiling. Or because it no longer fits who you're becoming.

When I chose Craftsmanship for 2024, it wasn't because winging it was a character flaw. Winging it had actually gotten me above-average results for years. But I'd outgrown it. I was ready for the next level, and that required a different way of operating.

When I chose Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast for 2025, it wasn't because moving fast was wrong. Speed had helped me grow from $10K to $50K months. But I'd started dropping balls and skipping steps. The thing that got me there wasn't going to get me to the next level.

The theme is about graduating to a more advanced version of how you operate.

So as you work through these questions, hold them lightly. You're not looking for evidence of what's wrong with you. You're looking for clues about what's next.

Set aside 30-60 minutes. Grab a notebook or open a doc. Answer these questions honestly—not how you think you should answer, but what's actually true.

I’ll even share the highlights of my personal answers to these questions to help you see what I mean.

Before you look at what needs to change, anchor in what's good. This isn't fluff—it's data. What's working tells you what to protect and amplify.

1. What happened this year that's worth remembering?

Not just achievements. Moments. Relationships. Risks you took. Things that mattered, whether or not they "worked."

What do you want to carry forward?

2. What seemed impossible, but you did it anyway?

You've already done hard things. This is a reminder. Where did you surprise yourself?

3. When did you feel the most joyful and carefree?

This might be the most important question on the list. Joy is data. (So is dread and anxiety) It tells you where alignment lives—what conditions, what work, what people, what pace.

Pay attention to what made you feel light.

4. What felt easiest this year? Where were you most in flow?

Ease doesn't mean lazy. Flow means you were operating in your zone. Where your strengths met meaningful work. Where did that happen? What were you doing? Who were you with?

This isn't about what's broken. It's about what's done. What's hit its ceiling. What no longer fits the person you're becoming.

And it's about holding yourself with compassion while you look at it honestly.

5. What are you doing because you think you should—even though it's not working, you don't enjoy it, or it's not aligned with who you're becoming?

"Working" isn't just about external results. Something can be succeeding by every metric and still be wrong for YOU. What looks good on paper but doesn't feel right in practice?

Or what are you doing because you think you should, but it’s not leading to the results you want, in your business or your life?

6. What did you try to control that was actually outside your control?

This one's sneaky. So much of our exhaustion comes from trying to force outcomes we can't actually force. Clients' decisions. Market timing. Other people's perceptions. (This is why I am SO adamant about ending your reliance on referrals. Sure they’re great, but they’re unpredictable AF).

Where did you burn energy on things that were never yours to control?

7. Is there anything you need to forgive yourself for?

Maybe you didn't follow through on something. Maybe you made a choice you regret. Maybe you stayed too long or left too soon. Whatever it is, can you let it go?

Carrying it into the new year doesn't serve you. And honestly, it doesn't serve your business either.

Now look at your answers. What patterns do you notice?

8. What's the common thread in what needs to shift?

When I looked at my answers going into 2024, the thread was chaos. Last-minute everything. No systems. No intention. The pattern was winging it.

Going into 2025, the thread was speed. Moving so fast I was making mistakes, skipping steps, dropping balls. The pattern was rushing.

Going into 2026, the thread is overextension. Trying to do too much. Not accepting real limits. And oftend doing things because I think I should, not because I truly want to.

The pattern is spreading myself thin.

What's yours? Look across your answers, especially questions 5, 6, and 7. What keeps showing up?

9. What would the more advanced version of you do differently?

Picture yourself a year from now, having built what you're building toward. How does that version of you operate? What do they prioritize? What have they released?

The gap between how you operate now and how that version operates—that's where your theme lives.

Your theme should:

When I reflected on this year, here's what I noticed.

What's worth remembering: Building something new with Reuben’s help. The webinar funnel we refined deliberately over five iterations—tracking everything, improving one thing at a time, watching it 5x in results.

Being able to spend two weeks in Florida with my parents to help them navigate some health challenges as they age.

Choosing to join an AI startup, knowing it was a long shot, but also knowing it was a chance I needed to take—and then having the courage to leave when I realized it wasn't right for me.

Finally understanding what was behind a decade of health struggles. Hard, but clarifying.

What seemed impossible: Rebuilding after leaving the startup. Walking away from something I'd said yes to, publicly, and trusting myself enough to choose differently. Still showing up. Still growing.

Doing it all while operating at 25-40% capacity because of health challenges.

When I felt most joyful: The slow mornings. The walks with no agenda. Long dinners with my husband where we're just laughing and talking. Being moved by art and music. Spending more time writing and reflecting. Learning tarot. The creative work that happened when I wasn't forcing it.

The pattern is clear. When I do less, I experience more joy, more creativity, and bigger results.

What I tried to control that I couldn't: My body's healing timeline. How quickly I could "bounce back." I kept thinking I could push through. My body had other plans.

What I need to forgive myself for: Not listening sooner. All the years I dismissed symptoms because I was "too busy" to slow down. The hustle that cost me more than it gave.

The pattern: Spreading myself thin. Trying to do too much. Not accepting real constraints I can’t control or intentionally choosing constraints that support me.

The next evolution: Recognizing that constraint isn't a limitation—it's a creative advantage. That doing less, on purpose, might actually be the path to more.

The theme: Constraint Breeds Creativity.

It came from watching Top Chef, actually. In the challenges where chefs have unlimited options, they often produce their worst food. But in the restrictive challenges—cook with gas station ingredients, make a dish in 20 minutes—they create some of the best food of the entire season.

Tom Colicchio says it all the time: "Constraint breeds creativity."

That's what I need to embody this year. Not as a punishment or a limitation—but as the container that makes my best work possible.

The questions above will get you most of the way there. But if you want to go deeper—really sit with this and give yourself the space for a thorough annual review—I've got you.

Here's the Notion template I use for my own year-end reflection →

It includes everything above, plus deeper questions about your goals, your inner circle, and how to stay aligned throughout the year.

Duplicate it. Make it yours. Use what serves you.

What theme is emerging for you?

Or if you're still in the messy middle of figuring it out, what pattern are you starting to notice?

Hit reply. I'd love to hear what's coming up.

In love, growth, and embodiment,
Kasey